My bad
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Tuesday, April 3, 2007
9:34 AM
When you were here i was fine,
I did everything even went out of the line.
But when i left you my world spun out of control
It's as if my body was left by my soul.
I've tried to forget and move one
But everytime i see you, i come undone.
My mind is never at ease when you're near
Yet living this life without you is what i fear.
I am guilty of being unperfect
Yet i mean not to disrespect.
I am wrong of not knowing what i want
So this apology is what i now flaunt.
No longer am i asking you to be as close as before
If you'd only speak to me, i'd never ask for more.
Hope somehow you could find in your heart to forgive,
Then i'd learn to accept the things i'd never received.
Translation (Araw Gabi)
Challenging is to write a song for you,
Left me half-crazy, thinking of words for you.
Played with melodies for hopes of tune,
Chances are there'd be rhythm out for you.
What is there for me to say in this song
Still grappling with lyrics to align with tune,
Despite all tries, words won't fit,
Simply put, this is how i feel.
Be it day or night,
Constantly thinking of you,
Never stopped dreaming of you,
Wherever i may be.
Be it day or night,
Over-joyed and over-whelmed
Whenever i'm with you.
Be it day or night.
Despite all this, i was able to say,
All there is to know about how i feel.
After all attempts, i was able to push through,
Just so you know how i feel is for real.
Not of Me
Charming are your eyes,
They shine for me as the stars.
Blinding me from truth and lies,
Hiding all pain and scars.
Yet charming eyes are blind of me,
My presence, you don't seem to see.
Enchanting are your smiles,
They send me flying off miles.
Feeling me within, reaching in,
Take me wandering off from where i've been.
Yet enchanting smiles are not for me,
With me beside you, you don't seem to see.
Mesmerizng is your soul,
Taking every inch of my control.
Manipulating me with every move,
Just as music is to one's groove.
Yet mesmerizing soul know not of me,
My longing you don't seem to see.
Captivating is you being,
Moving in and out of my feeling.
Hoping for one moment to take,
Wishing for all the love to make.
Yet captivating being is not with me,
So this poem is left for you to see.
on you
blanks fill my head as you walk on by
for every minute filled with sigh.
with every step, feeling's on a high
heart breaks everytime the mind lies.
your eyes induce me with every glance
as grace unfolds with every stare.
seeping within me, leaving me in trance
with this feeling i never would want to share
calmness denotes me as skin touch
feeling moves deep in my soul.
never knowing intensity could be this much
as happiness is beyond my control.
your thoughts play with mine
as i would love to conquer you.
you're sad whenever i'm fine,
you smile when i'm blue.
would you ever seek me if i fall off
wishful thinking sets within me.
falling ponder into loft
this inclination would you dare see?
Fall Down
strange sense of pleasure plays with in me
as you walk into view,
and like a falling star unto the sea
mind and heart sets unto you.
i close my eyes as you drift by
feeling every inch, sorting everything,
these eyes and smiles could never lie
when i say it's about you i'm dreaming.
comfort sets in when miles apart
souls at ease when your in mind,
yet being without you is not as smart
for loneliness has never been so unkind.
passions rules me when you're near
new set of feeling sets in,
conquering my worst thoughts and fear
it's you whom i have always want for within.
I love you
from a far i have always watched you
looking at you, admiring everything you do.
you are everything i hope for and dream
you have all of me, or so it seem.
love began with your first hello,
love would stay with my pride swallowed.
love would never leave with your redudant goodbye,
my love is yours with each and every sigh.
from you i could not want more
for loving you is what i am here for.
and if time allows that you feel the same
you leave me with no hurt or shame.
yet i will and still love you
perhaps more than anyone would do.
Sorry
i can't do what you ask of me
i can't be what you want me to be
i'm not what you want
for this i'm sorry
i can't be anything else
this is what i am
no matter how i cram
i'll never be anything else
i won't try to undo me
i won't force you to see
i won't make you believe that i could
when i know it more than it should
i refuse to lie to you
i've tried to be what you want me to
i deny the fact i could change
doing that would be out of the range
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i couldn't do anything more
Offering
I know anyone could love you
Never will it be a hard thing to do.
As easy it is for me
I'm finding it hard to make you see,
No other place i want to be than your side
Regardless of shame and pride.
You say my love is for the deserving,
Isn't it you whom i should be yearning?
You my romance is one side
I say it is as it is when i can't hide,
Every amount of emotion
I offer you now in this devotion.
Now you try to push me away,
Someone else deserve me or so you say.
Telling that you can't give everything.
Warning me of not receiving.
Yet happiness is bestowed upon me with you,
Bliss is when i do things for you.
Please let me stay,
This is all i ask of you.
Never
Never again will i write
Another poem with all passion.
This will be the last time i cite
Word with all my emotion.
For never again will i be
The same person you use to see.
Time has come to bid farewell
To the one feeling i used to dwell.
I am done hurting.
I am through thinking.
I am sick of waiting.
I am tired of giving.
This is the time i move on
Been patient for far too long.
Reasons have ran out
I no longer dare cry and shout.
Walls have finally broken in
Yet sadness would no longer win.
I am done hurting.
I am through thinking.
I am sick of waiting.
I am tired of giving.
The truth is
Days have gone by with things left undone.
You came into my life, leaving me a total wreck.
I have gone after you yet you wanted me to stop.
I respected it thinking that i could do it.
I've tried hard not to think you.
Yet in my mind you have stayed.
Seems to me that days are long with you gone.
But unlike me, you have gone on better.
I've tried hard to do as you've said, you know this.
I've gone in and out of myself just to be free.
Yet happiness is such a long road to go
When you know you're alone and undone.
I couldn't understand though why you have this effect on me.
Could it be that in you i see,
The one thing i could never have.
Yet why is it that i want so much from you
Knowing that before you have gone and told me not to
Expect too much from what we have?
Maybe i have been foolish that with a little effort
We could try.
I know what i should do now but it's more than what i could take.
I know i should stop thinking about it but what if one heart breaks?
God must have his reasons for hurting me
Yet i still can't see why i deserve to endure such tragedy.
Self Litany
I've cried until no more tears fall on my face,
I've change to the point i forgot my ways.
I've given everything up to the point of nothing,
I've loved to the extent of my whole being.
I couldn't cry no more,
I can't change back to my core.
I couldn't regain what i have given,
I can't be love in point at even.
I've lost the point in loving,
I've lost all hope in waiting.
I've lost all will in fighting,
I've lost all patience in caring.
I'm mustering the courage to let go,
I'm giving everything for the last show.
I'm wishing for a peaceful end,
I'm praying for this heart to mend.
I need a defintion
talking is like hitting a wall,
you never get anything but a loud sound.
if you get lucky you might see it fall,
then again it might've been built on a solid ground.
trusting is like diving in a pool,
you let yourself go into the water.
you know you're in deep when its all cool,
then you realize it's too deep and you falter.
giving is like basking in the sun,
you're doing great til the first drop of rain.
if you're in the zone you might have it done,
but one sign of cloud leads to efforts in vain.
loving is like firing a gun,
you never know whom or what you'll hit.
unless you were aiming then it might be the right one,
but with eyes shut you might find yourself in deep shit.
Innocence
i wish i could pretend not to see you
maybe things would be different.
right then i would know what to do
and disregard things not so apparent.
i wish i could not hear you
maybe then you would cease to use me.
then you would feel so alone without a view
and you'd realize its me you want to see.
i wish i could refuse you
maybe then my life would be simple.
for you left me with myself and just a few
of the things i use to have and handle.
***
you will no longer use me,
that much i know.
i have no use for people who can't commit.
let alone keep a simple promise.
you will no longer have me,
for i refuse to give anymore.
you had the best of me yet you held back
leaving me wanting more.
you will no longer own me,
i demand my freedom from you.
for with you each day is nothing but pain,
it can't be help that i drove myself insane.
buttorfleoge
You are my butterfly with wings swift as the wind.
I look at you and i bring myself to be kind.
That each time you flutter in mind,
Happiness with your sweet smile is what i find.
You are my butterfly and everything that keeps me.
With you here nothing else is left to see.
You take my heart and i let you be,
Capturing my essence as if i was never free.
You are my butterfly with all their eyes on you.
With me they watch everything you do.
They need you and you chose to be in their view,
So i went home with a heart in shade of blue.
You are my butterfly which i could not share,
But to keep you here makes life unfair.
So with all my tears and outmost care,
I set my butterfly free into the air.
Tides
Sands compress as the tides move in.
Never letting go, always wanting to win.
For with joint efforts they could defeat the sea,
Then they could be what they want to be.
Winds ruffle the sea as the tides hit the shore,
Yet the sands keep still as the water hit some more.
But as the water turns back to the deep,
The sun's heat kiss the sand after its momentary weep.
Days go on and the battle between the sand and water goes.
Proving that with unity great powe shows.
Like the granules we both could do anything for glee,
Only if you come and change the tides with me.
ODE
love me,
not for spite or pity,
not because it is logical,
not because it's the right thing to do.
love me,
not for greed,
not for pleasure,
not for selfish deeds.
love me,
not because you know i love you,
not because you know i need you,
not because you mean the world to me.
love me,
because you can and you care about me,
because you feel the same towards me,
because you accept me for who i am.
love me for no other reason,
just love me for being me.
Ironic
my love's ironic
it chose distance and space
rather than being here.
so ironic that loneliness
has been a friend than a foe.
my love's ironic
it stood against happiness.
heart beats faster in pain,
anger shook my ground
tears flood all days.
my love's ironic
it knows bounds and stops.
limits are there to be a guide
followed by instructions
sampled by mistrust.
my love's ironic
there are no patience involved.
no respect, no gratitude,
no peace, no feeling
and no love in return.
my love's ironic
it conquers all smiles.
storms kept coming my way,
leaving me damp in the cold
all alone with myself to blame.
With You
I'll hold your hand, knowing it'll be so cold
I want to be your greatest secret, one secret left untold.
When you wake, i won't be with you
When you wake, you'll realize with you, i no longer do.
But every night I'll watch you sleep
Haunt your dreams every time you weep.
That when you see me, you won't know how to feel
Happy or afraid knowing i'm no longer here for real.
I'll be with you with or without your eyes closed,
Whether you like or not i'll be your ghost.
To strike fear or comfort, you tell me
I'll let you decide on what you want to see.
I'll watch your every step and hold you dear
Feeling but not seeing me, will you fear?
What purpose i am here beside you i never know for sure
No clue whether i am your poison or your cure.
Until i figure it out, i'll live with you.
Looking at you, watching you, i all i would do
Whether you need me or not, i'd still stay,
Depends on you if you'd be here or run the other way.
Inclination
There was a time I wandered the world
Looking for impressions, searching every words,
Penetrating deep on every person I've known.
Yet I've failed for none of them have shown
The light I have longed for,
The warmth, the smiles and more.
I guess I have been a fool wishing upon every star,
Hoping for something that never went far.
Abashed and anxious the friendship left me,
From dreams and hopes, I've been set free.
After that, I kept to myself all alone.
I had friends but none of them was really my own.
Losing hope, almost fading away,
A caring chance passed my way.
I doubted but i gave in.
Failing won't hurt anymore after what I've been.
Once more I jumped into chance.
It felt good even better than any romance.
Til then i knew i found what I've been looking for,
The light, the warmth, the smiles and much more.
I looked at the new found gift.
Felt satisfied for it was the best one I've received.
From then on I knew I'd take good care of it
Cause after all trials I knew this one would fit.
Now i take this chance to thank thee,
For being there, for spending time with me.
for the lessons, the patience, the kindness bestowed.
For finally, i have a friend I could call my own.
To the one that has helped me to the end,
The one i call my slayer, my editor, my friend.
